Tomorrow is the last day of my job.
A year ago this weekend I signed up for a job that was a year commitment. I’ve known all year that tomorrow, September 23, would be my last day.
In the past few months, as I have prepared for this ending, I was optimistic, excited about my future opportunities. As a young professional with a hell of a work ethic and a lot to offer, I was confident I would find a position that I loved if not with my current organization, but definitely with another.
As time slowly crept by, and opportunities came and went, I became increasingly anxious. Despite reassurances from some very kind (and knowledgeable) people, I had no job lined up. Last week, with my last day on the horizon, I slowly cleaned out my desk and wrapped up all of my projects. I recycled countless notes from meetings, ideas, agendas, flyers, that I at one time felt worthy to keep, yet now, I feel that they are not important. What was important to me, I quickly realized, was that after a year of working and putting my heart into my projects, I would be leaving my office, with no guarantee to return.
In the cubicles around me, people were shuffling around, busy with projects, deadlines, and meetings. I overheard important, passionate conversations. People were talking happily of their successes and disappointment with their challenges. Yet, there I sat, at my desk with nothing. No future job secured. I had nothing to do as of Monday, September 27th.
As I started this week, I decided I would leave on a happy note, not with Eeyore following me around and a cloud over my head. Instead, I would have a good week and not cry when colleagues stopped by my desk, sad to see me go. I would be strong, leave with my box of belongings, and celebrate my year at this organization with my colleagues I loved most. As difficult as this week was going to be, it had been a fantastic year, and it was time for a close.
Tuesday afternoon, one of my colleagues sent me an email: Job Offer.
Now, I have a few applications out there, and I am hopeful that the applications will turn into an interview and hopefully a job offer, but the offer would be at least weeks away.
And here I was, staring at an email of a colleague offering me a job – a temporary job – yet a job. At first I thought, no, I should just leave and focus on finding permanent employment. Take a few days off. Walk Tahnee for two hours everyday.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that my promising job applications were not a promise of employment, and that in fact, at the end of October I could still be unemployed. I decided to take the temporary job, with the condition that I may leave for another permanent job.
Although I officially start my new job Monday, I got to start working on my new project today. And although it is at the same organization, working with the same people, I felt very excited, and I loved working on the new project. I no longer was referred to my old job title (which, after a year, started having a negative connotation…) and I gained a new level of respect. And although I know this is not permanent, I feel that this new (temporary) beginning has been just what I needed.
So tomorrow, when I go to work as my last “official” day in my old position, I will be happy for the experience I had, and not sad to be leaving. But, instead, I will be hopeful of my new beginning.