Daily Archives: October 16, 2011

An Impostor

As you may know, since my move to San Diego, I’ve been dealing with a few adjustments. I’m embracing the changes, and learning to deal.

I cannot, however, accept this…


Dear “VONS”,

The jig is up. I know who you are. I don’t even know why you’re pretending. Who do you think you’re trying to fool?

You’re Safeway.

Why are you trying to be something else? And, where in the hell did you come up with your dumb name, “VONS”? Why aren’t you happy to be you, a Safeway?

And, what kind of a name is “VONS”, anyway? I know Safeway isn’t much better, but c’mon, it’s who you are!

I go into your store, and guess what? Your store is exactly like the Safeway is used to go to all the time in Sacramento. The produce section, the aisles, the checkout stands and the Starbucks conveniently located at the entrance.

You look like a Safeway, you walk like a Safeway, you even quack like a Safeway. You’re a freakin’ Safeway.

Don’t worry, “VONS.” I’ll play along. I won’t blow you’re cover. Just know that I know.

Yours truly,

A Safeway Customer



Filed under Letters