For reasons I won’t bore you with, I’ve been spending a lot of time home, not at work. I’ve been home for the past three weeks, reading, cleaning, exercising, organizing and reading again. I’ve kept away from the TV because I find it just makes me want to nap. So instead of napping I’ve read 5 books, donated old clothing, and really organized my life. It’s been productive.
And since I’ve been home most of the day, I’ve been spending almost all of my time with the dogs – Tahnee (of course) and Maya (my roommate’s dog). And since the dogs are both Labradors, they follow me everywhere all the time.
The dogs have greatly bonded to me in these past few weeks; I am their alpha, their everything. Whenever I leave, they sulk and pout and are pitiful. This is a drastic difference from a few weeks ago when I would just get sad eyes. Now every time I leave they ache devastation, unsure of what to do or where to go.
I suspect they just sleep.
I leave at least once everyday – if not to exercise, but to also run errands. Each time worst than the next, each time they are more helpless and forlorn. It is the worst part of their day
I, on the other hand, leave them with no guilt. And for this I believe I am punished.
Everyday, around 3pm it starts.
Tahn will suddenly sit, staring at me.
Maya gets up and paces a bit.
I ignore them at first. “No eye contact” I tell myself.
Tahn’s piercing black eyes start working their way into my soul.
When I cannot take it anymore I tell them both to lie down.
They do. We have peace.
Tahn is up again, beady eyes on me.
Maya may bark once or twice.
Now I’m getting mad. “No!” I shout. “Not yet.” I scold.
They huff and puff and lie down.
By 4pm, it gets really bad. (Like yesterday).
They no longer hear anything I say.
They double-team me.
Tahn pokes me with her cold nose and gives me the stare of death.
Maya goes from a high-pitched whine to a full bark attack.
I get incredibly angry. “NO! BAD DOGS!” I yell.
Tahn stares and pokes and Maya barks.
I consider putting them in the backyard and then remember Maya will bark even more and Tahn will eat sticks.
I consider putting them in their respective rooms and then remember Maya will destroy my roommate’s things in anger and Tahn will lie on my bed and pull back the covers and put her head on my pillow.
I scold them once more, really being firm. They coil in sadness.
I can almost hear them talking to each other, “Gosh, she didn’t have to be so mean, Tahn,”
“I know, Maya.”
At 4:30pm on the dot, the dogs are fed and the worst part of my day is over.
Today I’ll be at a coffee shop from 2:30pm to 5pm if anyone needs me.