Unbeknownst to me, I’ve been losing my time. My self.
At the start of my First Summer in San Diego, I had two goals:
1. Have fun.
2. Make money.
And I did. Lots. Of both. I took a second job at my beloved Bar Method Studio, and jumped from weekend to weekend – working, entertaining (beloved) visitors,
attending very wonderful friends’ weddings,
attending AWESOME sporting events,
and meeting real life race horses up close and personal.
My summer? It was fantastic. My only regret? Not learning to surf.
But here’s the thing: from working two jobs, never having a day off, and continuous fun, I somehow lost a sense of me. I lost the time I used to spent doing things I liked – things I needed – to be a happy person.
I stopped writing. And blogging.
I got involved in a messy, toxic relationship – one I’m still dealing with the residual pain and nonsense.
I stopped walking Tahn. This summer? From my busy lifestyle, and my very physical full-time job, and the Bar Method, I got in the best shape of my life. My dog? Gained weight. Gained 12 pounds.
I lost time for myself.
It wasn’t until the excitement of the Summer passed, and leaving my second job did I realize how unhappy I was.
It wasn’t until I took my days off – to cook, to clean, to read, to walk Tahn, to sleep, did I realize how unbalanced my life had become.
It wasn’t until recently – almost 3 months after the CrazyFunSummer did I have the urge to write – to blog.
I’ve been reading a few books – books on how to simplify your life, your thoughts, your self. Recently, I read this from one of my absolute favs, Anne Lamott.
I hope you click over and read the fantastic article. But, if not, here is a quote, summing up what I’ve been working towards/thinking about/ attempting lately:
“I’ve heard it said that every day you need half an hour of quiet time for yourself, or your Self, unless you’re incredibly busy and stressed, in which case you need an hour. I promise you, it is there. Fight tooth and nail to find time, to make it. It is our true wealth, this moment, this hour, this day”. – Anne Lamott in Sunset Magazine