Because these freaking Love Handles won’t go away on their own
This is not a “weight loss” post. This isn’t a post about how I think I’m fat, or that I need to lose weight.
I’m not fat. Actually, I’m not even overweight. According to the last time I saw the doctor, I am perfectly within my “healthy” weight range.
And frankly, I really have no clue how much I weigh on a day to day basis. I have never used my weight as a measure of my self worth, happiness, or beauty.
I usually use the way my jeans fit as my “weight” measure.
And unfortunately, I recently had to buy two new pairs of jeans – because none of my other jeans currently fit.
Let’s for a moment, talk numbers. Pounds, really. Like I really care, but since 2008 I’ve put on roughly 5lbs a year – so you guessed it – I’ve put on just over 15lbs in 3 years.
5lbs a year or 15lbs in three years isn’t anything to cry about. It’s not that big of a deal. It’s kinda of a big deal that my jeans won’t fit, but again, not tears-in-the-dressing-room worthy.
But here’s the thing
These 15lbs? These Love Handles? They don’t represent anything good. Sure, they are extra weight I don’t need on my body, blah, blah, blah. But honestly? That’s not why I want to get rid of them.
These Love Handles have nothing to do with Love. They should be call Sad Handles or Loneliness Handles – because that is what they really are. My Love Handles represent the hardship and the struggles I’ve worked through in the past three years. They represent my struggle to meet friends, my dissatisfaction with my job, my lack of courage to try new things and meet new people.
These 15lbs are pounds of unhealthy thoughts, lack of joy, bad self mantras. They represent me floating through my life waiting for something better; a better job, a better apartment, more friends. They represent all the things I did not like about my life.
It’s time to shed these pounds – these thoughts – from my life. It’s time to add productive, fun activities and people who radiate joy and want to live a full life. It’s time to spend less time in bars trying to “meet people” and more time on the beach trying to relax and revitalize myself. It’s time to go back to me, who I am, and discover to be the best person I can be.
And these 15lbs? These Love Handles? They don’t belong in my new life. I’ll leave them behind. I will release each pound, slowly, consciously, with intent. I will not lose them – because if I lose them they can easily come back. I will release them from my life forever. When each pound is gone, I will let go of a painful memory, a sad thought, or an obstacle in my life.
My changes are very simple:
- Exercise more and stop eating when I’m full.
- Incorporate daily mantras of positivity and peace.
- Try new fun (beach related!!!) activities and be open to all people.
I’ve already gone to the gym most days after work these past two weeks and it’s been a great change. I’ve worked on stop eating the second I’m full – something I use to be great at but overtime I started overeating and it’s become a habit. I’ve worked on having an intent of a good day, a good hour, and a good minute. I’ve put myself out there a few time to meet new people – and so far I’ve yet to be disappointed.
I know these pounds of sadness will leave me sooner than later – it may even take a year to be gone of them for good (I lose and gain weight really slowly) – but that’s okay.
Again, Operation Love Handle isn’t about losing weight – it’s about changing my life, mind and body.
Will you join me?
10 responses to “Operation Love Handle”
I like to call it “perfecting”… you are perfecting the perfect you. Also its amazing to me how no matter what your size is big, small, same …. Every girl I have known has had trouble with finding consistent jeans that fit. Its awesome to know that we all have commonality. If you want to go walking on the beach after work … let me know or on a weekend. I would be happy to go with you!!!
That sounds like an awesome plan. I can’t wait until I can get back to exercising. I miss it.
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i hear you, friend. i gained 20 pounds during our wait for ruby. food is comforting – dammit.
this is a great post – wishing you (and me) more happiness and fitting better into our jeans.
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